Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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