I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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