:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
