i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
