so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
