Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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