hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
