One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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