hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
