Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
