Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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