i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
