The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
