What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
