dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How naked do you want me to be?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
