bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize