dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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