I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
