Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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