Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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