Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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