brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
one two three fourrrrnication!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
