I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
