wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
