we're chasing vodka with high fives
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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