it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Drunk is a universal language darling
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
