What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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