So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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