he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
