I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
