He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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