I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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