I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
