good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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