it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
