Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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