I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
