When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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