How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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