Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
