Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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