his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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