Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
