How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When are your genitals available?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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