Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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