oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
