I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
