Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
