i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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