so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize