It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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