Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i drank out of a bidet.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
