smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
