You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
