either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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