Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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