so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
why is half of my head shaved?
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