Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
