We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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