i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
