I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
