Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
