Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
