I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
