They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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