party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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